19 Jun I Favor Her But Can’t Stand Her Little Ones. Can This Love Survive?
We have been together four years and that I believed the woman children (25, 23, 20, 17) would “grow right up.” All of them have problems with combine, supervision, terrible ways, poor grades and now medicines.
She states I really don’t want to stress and are perhaps not my problem. I am aware there’s been domestic violence with three out from the four children (they attacked her). I would like to save their, but she will continue to let me know she doesn’t need to be stored.
If you enjoy anyone you’re with but dislike the woman young children, can this commitment survive?
-Dave (New York)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:
I’m not sure how exactly to break this for you, however these youngsters are products of her. While we all enter into society with a biological disposition, great child-rearing can train some of the negative traits out.
It sounds like she does not know how to put-up healthy borders and she hasn’t followed mommy rule first: Do your work well so you can operate your self out-of a job.
So now you’d like to trade care with her? Remember, a commitment is a change of treatment. Assuming there is physical violence, it may sound like this family system is not one you should tangle with.
I would simply take the woman advice. You should not just be sure to save the girl.
Your alternatives tend to be: have actually a compartmentalized connection in which you grab a bite and sex occasionally. Or mix the life and inform this lady you’re going to be prepared to do that when she shows she will have boundaries with her mature kiddies.
No counseling or therapy information: The Site doesn’t offer psychotherapy advice. This site is intended just for use by buyers on the lookout for common details interesting related to issues individuals may face as individuals and also in interactions and associated topics. Material just isn’t designed to replace or serve as replacement expert assessment or solution. Contained findings and viewpoints should not be misunderstood as specific counseling information.